The Onion: News Planet Earth Doesn’t Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave
“I haven’t exactly been subtle about it, you realize. I have literally tried to drown you, crush you, starve you, dehydrate you, pump you full of diseases, and suck your homes and families into swirling vortices of death. Honestly, what more is it going to take for you people to get the message?” Planet Earth …